Header imagehovis presley  


Comedian, Poet.

3 August 1960-

9 June 2005



 I rely on you

I rely on you
like a Skoda needs suspension
like the aged need a pension
like a trampoline needs tension
like a bungee jump needs apprehension
I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter
I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve
I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
I rely on you
like a water vole needs water
like a brick outhouse needs mortar
like a lemming to the slaughter
Ryan's just Ryan without his daughter
I rely on you

© H Presley 1994




I've bitten off more than you've had hot dinners

I once spent an evening with Lola or Layla

She said make me breathless I hid her inhaler

© H Presley 2004


Your guess is as good as a mile

My bike thinks it's a BMX
It's just a racer what the heck
My friend says he has x-ray specs
There is no substance I suspect
You think that you're a sex object

And then the other sex objects

© H Presley 2004


Doctor doctor

Doctor I have trouble pronouncing effs and tee aitches

Well you can't say fairer than that

© H Presley 1996